How to Approach a Big Goal- Coaching Q and A

Q: I have a really big goal of organizing my whole house.  What is the best way to tackle it?  Should I take small steps, or should I take big chunks?

A: I know how tempting it can be to want to dive in head first with things like this (I have been there) There are a few issues with this: We forget that it has taken us often times years or at least months of getting into the clutter/chaos etc that we have now so it’s going to take time (and patience) to get out of it. Also what happens often for projects like these is that we are feeling motivated and pumped up.. for a little while and often that motivation to the level it was can shrink then we are surrounded by even more chaos. (Many of these ideas can be applied for just about any goal)

Thats a long answer to say small steps are always better with something like this

Heres why and also some tips to help you in the process.

When we approach big goals with small steps we:

A: Feel way less overwhelmed by the bigness of the tasks ahead

B: Can see the progress and feel it, basking in those victories (no matter the size)

C: Are more likely to actually complete it as small steps build on top of one another and lead into big result often!

Tips:

-Make a braindump list of what needs to be done, walk around your home and see what “jumps out at you”

-Go back to that list (a few hours or days later if you can, but you don’t want  lose the motivation, so at least step away for a little bit) and then choose the area that is either: A: draining you the most, just keeps bugging you  or B: The easiest to complete area (because often when you can compete that with success it gives you  confidence for the next area and the next…)

-Ask yourself (inspired by Peter Walsh) What is my vision for this place? And consider getting rid of anything that does not fit or support that vision

-Break down each section. For example Instead of saying Declutter and Organize the Bedroom, break it down by section: Closet, Dresser, Under the Bed etc.. And there ar times where it’s helpful to break it down even more. I have a close that needs some TLC and I know I am not going to finish the entire thing in one sitting but I will take it shelf by shelf.

-Know that a little can go a long way. If you  have 15 minutes a day you will be surprised at what you can get done.

-Set the stage for it to be inspiring. Put on some music that gets you pumped up or inspired, listen to a podcast or Audio book.

-Keep yourself hydrated and fed well. Oh and get up and stretch every now and then

If you have a Coaching Question for me that you would like me to Answer  (or want a follow-up or more ideas for this question)  please leave a comment or email me hstoliveinspired @ gmail. com

Here is to living Inspired, Creative and Empowered

Heather

Coaching Q and A-Mindset while Job Hunting

Hey Beautiful Souls! It’s Coaching Q&A time!

Q:Like so many others,  am looking for a job.  I hate it.  How can I approach the search positively (which I believe will lead to a positive outcome)?

A: First, I totally understand where you are coming from, it’s not a fun place. However it is an opportunity to sort of start over in your life at least in this way right now. Mostly what this takes is a switch of mindset when approaching your job seeking. In fact lets start there… You can switch the words from “I am Job Hunting” to I am Seeking a Job” to me that feels more like an opportunity… A few tips on shifting your mindset while Seeking a new Job! At first they may seem sort of simplistic and maybe a bit (to some people) mamby pamby. But pay that mental critic no mind, let’s get started on some easy ways to keep you motivated on swapping a mindset of dread and frustration to one of empowerment!

-Try some affirmations:  A few ideas would be: (print or write them out and put up where you will see often during the job seeking sessions)

*”I am now attracting the perfect source of income that is line with my values and gifts” (you could replace income with the word opportunity as well)

*I am grateful for each opportunity I find while seeking the perfect job for me.

*I trust that the opportunities I seek are seeking me

-Put on a power song before you start your job seeking, something that gets you in a mindset of energy and power!

-Keep yourself hydrated and fed, sometimes we can get so into the tasks (whatever it may be) that we are not properly hydrating and nourishing ourselves. And let me tell you, that just makes us more frustrated then we may have already been.

-Get up every 30-60 minutes and stretch, look outside (go outside if you can) just for 5 minutes or so. Take a deep breath and dive in again!

-Bonus Tip! Create a vision board (digital or cut and paste magazine + images) of how you want to feel, elements of the perfect job for you, what this perfect job for you will afford you (material but mostly mental , like peace of mind)

And know that you are not alone and that positive thoughts are headed your way for your to find what you are seeking.

Here is to living Inspired, Creative and Empowered

Heather

PS: If you have a question you would like me to respond to email me at hstoliveinspired @ gmail .com I will not publish your name or info just your question and just think you could be helping others as well!

Support in your Dreams- Coaching Q and A

Hey Amazing Souls! Coaching Q & A is back! My intention to have a new post for Coaching Q & A  every other Friday!

Q: How do you motivate yourself to grow your business when friends and family think of it as “just a hobby”?

A: What a great question! I believe this is an issue that so many of us have had/are having. So you are not alone! I will give you some questions to ask yourself and some tips as well. Most of what you will see is that I am not going to suggest ways for you to convince the that what you are building is legit, it’s not your job to convince them really. The only person who you can really control is yourself. So lets look at some things that you can do to empower and motivate yourself. Often as a result of really taking ownership of your dream yourself will show others that you are serious about this.

Questions to ask yourself:

*Am I clear on what I want, what I am wanting to create?

*Do I speak about it with passion and commitment?

*Do I engage in it with passion and commitment?

*Is it that I am missing motivation or am I missing clarity , direction or support?

Tips:

*Find a support, this can come in the form of a coach, a mastermind group,someone to check in with (an accountability partner) etc.

*Speak about it with passion

*Schedule in the time to pursue it on a regular basis, even if some of that time at first is used on getting more clarity and a plan (but don’t wait until the time is perfect that will be never, that’s true for any of us!) Even it it starts with just 15 minutes a day, you have to start somewhere!

*Surround yourself with inspiration, quotes, images, your values etc. Having an environment to help you empower your mindset is always important, even more so when you feel your sort of  ”in it alone”

*Set timelines for yourself, if overwhelm is an issue then make them really doable and small. Remember small steps done on a regular basis = big things!

*Create affirmations and say them daily (a few times, or at least on a regular basis)  Look up online for affirmations using some of the key words of things that you seek: Support, clarity, focus, energy etc… Some ideas:                                I fully support myself in my dreams or  I am focused purposeful and guided those are 2 to give you some ideas. *tip: Always make affirmations in the present tense as if it’s happening now.

These questions and tips can be used for just about any dream, not just a business!

For any follow-up questions or a coaching question of your own, email me: hstoliveinspired  @ gmail. com

To find out more about the coaching services I offer go here!

Here is to living Inspired, Creative and Empowered

Heather

Creativity- Coaching Q and A

Hey Inspiring Souls! It’s Coaching Q & A time again!!

Q: I really feel the pull to do something creative, but I just think I may be one of those people who is just not creative. The things I have tried are just not as good as they should be. It’s discouraging, how do I start to find my creative voice, or am I just better off giving up that idea and moving on?

A: Let me start with this: You are creative, you were born that way. We just lose sight of what that looks like as we get older. Most times when we are young we don’t struggle to make sure our forts and imaginary friends are as good as other people’s, but as we grow up we get so stuck in comparing and looking at how things “should” be that we lose sight of own creative voices. Some ideas to start exploring and defining your  creative voice are:

1-First take a deep breath, you can do this, allow yourself to be as open as possible

2-Willingness to explore, when in the process of finding your creative voice (and when redefining etc.) we need to be willing to explore. There are so many ways creativity can show up and a willingness to explore some of them is essential!

4-Exploration, try lots of different things. There are a zillion things to try! Some ideas are: Visual Journaling, Writing (by hand or on the computer, it doesn’t matter just allow yourself to play with words), knitting, cooking, jewelry making, painting and photography. Those are some ways to express yourself creatively. Experiment with some of those or something else. You will know when you have hit on the one(s) that really speak to your soul!

5-Don’t compare! This can be a real creativity killer.. Take inspiration from others not that the way they do it is the only way. Allow yourself to “mess up” as it’s all part of the process. I remember when I first started visual journaling I had times where I wrote “this is supposed to be fun” I was frustrated because my pages didn’t look like they should (getting the should from how other people did their pages”) Then I learned there is no “Should” when it comes to expressing myself. I pushed through it and am so happy I did.

6-Learn to push through and learn to be gentle. There are times where you are just hitting a bump of self-doubt and it needs to be worked through. Other times we need to allow ourselves to step away (and perspective is often so helpful!) be compassionate with yourself when it’s called for!

7-Look for (and even write down) the ways that you are creative now. The way you problem solve, decorate, dress, cook and so on. There are so many instances in everyday life we are creative and looking at those can also be great clues into finding our creative voices.

These are just some ideas, I have a lot to say about this subject (clearly!) and in my Clarity Coaching or Authentic Living Coaching we dig a bit deeper in this subject! You can check it out here if you are interested!

Have a coaching question of your own? Contact me hstoliveinspired @ gmail.com

Here is to living Inspired, Creative and Empowered

Heather

Coaching Q and A- Stuck

Hey Wonderful Souls!

It’s Coaching Q & A time!

Q: I’m really stuck on a specific project. I just can’t figure out the best step to take next and I’m up against a deadline for my boss or a customer. How do I get unstuck?

A: First, take a deep breath! I believe often in these situations that one of the best things we can do is step away even if just for  a  few minutes. I have found when we are right in the “face” of the project or piece we are working on that we can’t see what is working, what is not and what could be next if we don’t gain a little perspective.  I get when you are on a deadline it’s easy to feel like you don’t have even 15 minutes to step fully away from it. But in truth it’s often the case that we are not making any progress on it anyways by “staring” at it. Do something totally unrelated to what you are working on then go back to it. If you are still stuck try some or all of the following ideas:

1-If you can step away a little bit longer, maybe even go outside get some air!

2-Once you have stepped away a little bit try looking at it for what does work, what is good,then once you have that it’s often easier to tell what is maybe out of place or not working- make a list

3-Talk it through with someone, I have found that talking it outloud is sometimes very helpful in situations that you are feeling stuck on.

4-Think back to what the objective of the project is in the first place and look at what you have/where you are and go from there.

5-Ask for help where you know you really need it

And as a sidenote, don’t forget to celebrate your accomplishment when you are done!

Here is to living Inspired, Creative and Empowered

Heather

Coaching Q and A- Too much to do, too little time!

Hey Beautiful Souls! It’s Coaching Q and A time!

Q:I have a large family, numerous interests, good friends, lots of talents, absolutely bewildered about how to fit all those things in my day!  It seems my 1st priority of each day gets left in the dust by other obligations.  Help me, help me!

A: I think that it’s great that you see all these opportunities in your life! The first part of this I really want to zone in on is where you say “… fitting all of those things into your day” that’s problem # one! You are not always going to be able to fit each of those things into everyday of your life. You can however fit several of those things into your daily life much of the time. It sounds like you are on overwhelm even if most of it is good stuff!

Some helpful tips:

-Define what is truly important to you in general, define your values

-Define what is important/priority to you that week or day and that will help keep you on track.

-With so much we want to do, create, learn, get done etc in general we often want to spend the entire day doing it. That is not always something that is possible. If say writing or something is one of your numerous interests then can you schedule that in daily or a few times a week at say 20 minute spurts? Friends you want to see, can you merge what you love doing with hanging out with one or some of those friends or family?  Combine where you can! In fact it could be helpful to make a list of those things in your life, see where you can fit in small bits of time to feed your soul, where you can combine passions and connecting etc.

As far as the first priority of the day getting left in the dust by other obligations, there are a few things to look at there.

-It can be helpful if you are clear on what the priority for the day is and when possible let the others in your life know that too so they can support you in that.

-Are you scheduling it in and setting the boundaries to “protect” that time? This is not just from other people, though I know many of us have people around that we love and interact with many times throughout the day. But sometimes we need to protect the priorities from our own selves! We can get distracted by all the other stuff we want or need to do that we have then gotten in our own way of what priority we set up in the first place. Also remind yourself, maybe a post it, or putting it on the calendar blocking out the time etc. would help.

-Also ask yourself (a good question in general for many areas of our life) Am I letting perfection be the enemy of completion? If we keep waiting for it to be perfect we often are over complicating it. therefore keeping us stuck in the: Working on it stage for far longer then we need to be.

Thanks for stopping by Coaching Q & A you can find out more about my coaching here and more about this series here.  Do you have a question for the coaching Q & A? Ask me here, in the comments below or email me hstoliveinspired @ gmail.com

Here is to living Inspired, Creative and Empowered

Heather

Coaching Q and A- Direction

Hey Amazing Souls!

It’s time for another coaching Q & A!

Q: I Have counseled People for the past nine years, I am a preacher and I have encountered problems that have made me stop preaching for a while, I have to take care of my home (Marriage) before i can take care of others. But my question is I have back problems and I am a maintenance man for a local news paper company, I own four houses of my own, and my back is not getting better I have to find something that is not so strenuous on my back, I am seriously thinking of going to school but I am wondering what I would do at 44 I am young enough to do something and be succesful at it but with my back ground as a counselor would you recommend Life coaching or something different? I can sell things also, I am a people person I love talking to others, I was thinking of something in marketing but with our economy the way it is I am kind of stuck in a rut here. I am open for suggestions

A: I first want to acknowledge you for the willingness to ask the question and for being open about what is going on. I am sorry to hear about the back issues and the pain that  you are going through. Taking care of your health (mind, body, soul) is very important, I really encourage you to give yourself a little extra TLC when it comes to these things as it sets the foundation for other areas in your life.

There are a few questions here, a few different layers. So lets look at them one layer at a time.

It sounds like to me that you are seeking a long-term change and not something to just get you out of where you are career wise. It also sounds you are dealing with doubt and overwhelm.

You say you are 44 and are you young enough to go back to school and do something and be successful at it. First, I think that as long as we are still breathing it’s never too late to try to go for what we are called to do and if for you part of the involves you going back to school then I think it’s never too late. You also mention in that about being successful, I encourage you to look at how YOU define success as opposed to how society judges it. What does success look and feel like to you? I think education is a wonderful thing, I really do I love learning, but I also think there are those times where we are looking for it to be the answer or the validation. I just encourage you to really look at that (and of course some of it would depend on what field you decide to go into) But on the flip side I really encourage you to look at if you are letting a dream of going back to school stop you because you feel it’s “too late” in some ways.

You mention several different kinds of possible careers, I get the sense that you really want to go into something not as a fast fix to get you out of where you are but to find something that fills you up. I can’t tell you what one to pick out of all of those. I will however suggest and highly encourage you to explore with an open mind your different options. Choose 1 of the 3 or so you mention and start exploring it. You are simply in research mode. My suggestion is to pick the one you feel the most excited about. Even ask someone you know and trust to talk out some of those options with you and to watch your body language when do you seem the most animated? When do you light up? Those are signs that you are on the right track! While you are in this research mode remember at this point it’s about gathering and noticing what gets you pumped up! Don’t allow yourself to start the negative what if’s and allow defeat before you really get started.

As far as the part in your question about being stuck in a rut, my response would actually be similar to the one above. Allow yourself to explore a bit, read something different then you usually do, try something new , allow yourself to be open and explore. Oftentimes even if we do that in an area in our life that is seemingly unrelated to the area of “issue” we find it opens us up in other areas!

I hope this helps, please feel free to send me any follow-up questions that you have.

Thanks for stopping by Coaching Q & A you can find out more about my coaching here and more about this series here.  Do you have a question for the coaching Q & A? Ask me here, in the comments below or email me hstoliveinspired @ gmail.com

Here is to living Inspired, Creative and Empowered

Heather

Coaching Q and A – What it’s all about!

Hey Beautiful Souls!

As you may have read I recently started a new series called “Coaching Q & A! I am really excited about this new series and wanted  to tell you a bit about it and ask for your help!

Coaching Q &A is all about you! It’s a chance for you to ask a coach (me!) questions of whats on your heart. Questions about change, balance, self-expression, goals and goal setting, dreams, finding your voice and anything else on your heart! It’s a way for you to get sort of mini session of coaching and in doing so to help others who may have some of the same things going on (because it’s published but your information is not!) I don’t pretend to have all the answers but I do promise I will do my best to give you something of value in each response that you can apply to your life!

I am very very passionate about coaching it’s just the way I “show up” in lots of situations and to be able to bring more of that to you makes me really happy!

Send me your questions hstoliveinspired @ gmail .com  I will publish your question but not your information. Also you  can  now ask me a question totally anonymously  on formspring! I could use your help and support by submitting questions and if you know someone who could benefit from this too please pass it along to them as well!

You can read past questions and responses right here!

Here is to living Inspired, Creative and Empowered

Heather

Enough-Coaching Q and A

Hey Wonderful Souls! Welcome to this weeks Coaching Q & A this week we have a powerful question that many of us can probably relate to on one level or another.

Q:

When life circumstances change and you find yourself needing to “shrink the rice bowl” as it were (i.e., to be able to get by on less than you’ve been used to), what can you do to ease that transition? What if you’ve managed to entangle your identity (ego) into the notion of what is “enough” and now that you must do with less, you feel you’ve been somehow diminished?

A:

As there often is, it’s really more than one question here. First let me say I am sorry you are going through tough times.

Lets look at the first question: What can you do to ease the transition during tough times and times of change.

-Do your best to find the good in the situation, I know that sounds simple but I know from experience it’s often not, you may really feel like you have to stretch to see what good there is in this situation. You reference “shrinking the rice bowl” A possible blessing in this would be to have the opportunity to really start defining on a serious level what things, expenses etc are in your life because you were used to having them there and what ones really bring you joy, peace and so on. It’s helpful (note I didn’t say always fun) in looking at what things are really important to us.

-Put in routines that are nurturing to you, when we are in the midst of change it’s often really easy to let go of all the good habits and things we were doing because we are so focused on the problem and trying to fix it. Make some non negotiables for yourself daily and weekly. Maybe you used to meditate, exercise, create etc all the time but that has all gone to the if I get time list.. We feel we don’t have time for those things like they are luxuries, but they are actually the total opposite they are foundations for us. Often if we took even a short time to engage in those on a regular basis we would actually get more done because we would feel more centered, calm, nourished, energized etc..

Part 2 of the question is related to worth.. It sounds like you have a big part of your worth tied up into what you do, what you provide on a monetary level and that you are feeling like you are not enough. The word “diminished” was used and  that is a really powerful and telling word about what you are feeling. I deeply encourage you to journal/write out some thoughts and responses to the following:

First though, I want to remind you that it’s really truly about how you show up, who you are not what you do. You are NOT what you do or what you provide on a  money or stuff level.

-Think about some people in your life who bring a lot of soul value to you. Ask yourself, do the people I really value and love do I love and value them because of the monetary things they provide for me? Why?

-Think of the things you provide to those around you that have nothing to do with money. You can even if you feel comfortable ( or even slightly uncomfortable) ask some of those around you, close to you what ways you bring value as YOU to their lives.

-What is important to you, truly important to you?

-What does enough look like to you? Before you were having to live off of less did you feel then like YOU were enough?

-Remind yourself daily: Try an affirmation or word that reminds you of your true  value, your soul value… A starting point could be something like this…  I value myself for who I am, for the soul gifts I bring to those around me and I know that I am enough.

If you have any follow-up questions on any of the Coaching Q & A that I do or If you have any new questions that you would like answered by a passionate coach then contact me hstoliveinspired @ gamil.com Your question will be published your personal information will not. To find out more about my coaching packages go here!

Here is to living Inspired, Creative and Empowered

Heather

Balance- Coaching Q and A

Q:  I have many responsibilities in my life  and they all are “tugging” at me all the time. This leaves me feeling frustrated, drained and like I’m not doing enough for each one of these situations. I have struggled for years to fine balance in my life.  Is it hopeless for me to find this balance, does balance even exist?

A: First, take a deep breath! You can’t be all things to all people, you also can’t give all of you to others without ever filling yourself up.

This is really a two-part answer. (and could probably be multiple blog posts for each, and actually just might be!) Lets start with Self Care, filling yourself up. Self Care is NOT selfish, actually it’s the opposite of selfish. When you take the time to really nourish your mind, body and soul you show up in other areas of your life more fully. So some things to think about are: What can you do that really nourishes you, how do you relax, energize etc? (some ideas: Take  bath, journal, meditate, take a few minutes of deep mindful breathing, create, make a cup of tea and sit outside and drink it slowly,  read, engage in movement that you really love)  Make it non negotiable. You can start with just 15 minutes a few times a week if that is all you feel you have.

Part two of this  really is this. How do you currently define balance? I think that often we think of balance as “perfectly balanced”  we have equal parts of our time divided up perfectly into a little pie chart. I don’t think it works that way for most people (if anyone!) Define what balance is to you, NOW in this season of your life, not a few years ago, not what it should be, what society says it should be but what it really looks and feels like to you now.  For me it’s about being able to really engage in the things that are priorities to me, family, self-expression are a few. It doesn’t mean that each day I have an equal amount of time divided into each thing  but it does mean I try to do these things on a regular basis, only you can define what your priorities are and what your version of balance looks like. And remember that there are going to be days where your balance feels a bit off and that is ok because again it’s not about little equal parts.  It’s really about looking at your life and asking yourself am I getting and doing what really feeds me the most, whats most important to me?

**Contact me for your Coaching questions heather. shafer @ gmail. com  To learn more about the coaching packages I offer go to this page!

Here is to living Inspired, Creative and Empowered

Heather