Q: I have many responsibilities in my life and they all are “tugging” at me all the time. This leaves me feeling frustrated, drained and like I’m not doing enough for each one of these situations. I have struggled for years to fine balance in my life. Is it hopeless for me to find this balance, does balance even exist?
A: First, take a deep breath! You can’t be all things to all people, you also can’t give all of you to others without ever filling yourself up.
This is really a two-part answer. (and could probably be multiple blog posts for each, and actually just might be!) Lets start with Self Care, filling yourself up. Self Care is NOT selfish, actually it’s the opposite of selfish. When you take the time to really nourish your mind, body and soul you show up in other areas of your life more fully. So some things to think about are: What can you do that really nourishes you, how do you relax, energize etc? (some ideas: Take bath, journal, meditate, take a few minutes of deep mindful breathing, create, make a cup of tea and sit outside and drink it slowly, read, engage in movement that you really love) Make it non negotiable. You can start with just 15 minutes a few times a week if that is all you feel you have.
Part two of this really is this. How do you currently define balance? I think that often we think of balance as “perfectly balanced” we have equal parts of our time divided up perfectly into a little pie chart. I don’t think it works that way for most people (if anyone!) Define what balance is to you, NOW in this season of your life, not a few years ago, not what it should be, what society says it should be but what it really looks and feels like to you now. For me it’s about being able to really engage in the things that are priorities to me, family, self-expression are a few. It doesn’t mean that each day I have an equal amount of time divided into each thing but it does mean I try to do these things on a regular basis, only you can define what your priorities are and what your version of balance looks like. And remember that there are going to be days where your balance feels a bit off and that is ok because again it’s not about little equal parts. It’s really about looking at your life and asking yourself am I getting and doing what really feeds me the most, whats most important to me?
**Contact me for your Coaching questions heather. shafer @ gmail. com To learn more about the coaching packages I offer go to this page!
Here is to living Inspired, Creative and Empowered