Dear 2017, Closing out the year…

Hey Beautiful Souls,

Each year I write a letter to the year to sort of summerize what that year has  held or taught me. This year as many of you may know whats my most difficult yet with the loss of my father. Here is my letter to the year (a practice I invite you to do as well)

 

Dear 2017,

Here is what I felt like writing to you… WTF? However, there was more I wanted to say (but WTF sums it up fairly well)
You held the greatest loss of my life, losing Dad is not something I expected or was prepared for (or any of us in my family) on any level. I am working on opening up to and living the lessons of this loss in his death and in his life. Grief has been present full on this year for me and for my family. It’s not an experience I have gone through on this level ever. You see I am a fixer and grief, in order to be able to heal requires that you sit with it, process it. It’s broken me down and it’s broken me open.
This year also held so many changes in the world and so so much loss.
And though this year will be marked as the most difficult, saddest year of my life. I do also remember and see the blessings this year held. How my words showed up and honor the realizations that have occurred.
  • Our family finally had a gathering of a bunch of us in January, had we known that was truly our last chance to gather in that capacity that we would lose my father this year. Maybe we would have done things differently. But we did make it happen and we were able to get some really lovely pictures that are now even more priceless and precious.
  • For other members of my family, myself included. There was healing in several ways. For some physical, others healing occurred in relationships or past issues.
  • I created more paintings than I have in years. (Something I love doing, but rarely share outside of the family) I also created a few projects (including my prompted journal on writing your truth)
  • After the loss of my dad, we did have support helping us out with issues that could have made this loss even more difficult.
  • My hubby did the heart walk with me in memory of my dad.
  • And while I drove my father crazy with my constant research and sodium check in’s (he had CHF among other issues) we had sweet moments, laughter and good discussions. Those moments that don’t seem to be that big of a deal at the time, but in reflection especially after the loss are what you treasure (and miss) the most.
My words were: Truth, Release, and Nourish. They all showed up for me, some more than others. I had some powerful realizations about my truth difficult and healing, some still being processed through. Release showed up (also connected to truth) in several ways I have decluttered (not just my stuff… long story!) a lot, though there is still much more to go through and release. I have released old journals, books, vision boards etc. Stuff that just didn’t feel aligned or important any longer.
Nourish has shown up some, but not as much as I would have liked. I do nourish my body more by exercising more and by taking my supplements (that helped me lower my cholesterol) but I have not nourished my body in all the ways I would have liked to. I ate a lot of my feelings, she’s taken the hit for me. So that intention to nourish will be present in 2018.
Some things you taught me (all be it much of it in gut-wrenching ways)
  • Cherish those you love, stop putting off connecting until you have __ figured out or cleaned up or… we have now. You think you have a lot longer to do just that, and maybe you do, but what if you didn’t? How would you respond then? Reach out, ask the questions, hold them a little longer, look them in the eyes and express your heart (in your way)
  • Take care of your health, it’s the ultimate act of self-care, of love not just for you but for those you love.
  • I am (we are, you are) stronger than I/you think.
  • Be your own health advocate, be the advocate of those you love. Trust your gut, ask questions and don’t assume that the experts are always right for you and yours.
  • Creativity is an amazing tool to teach you and support your healing journey.
  • Don’t let your most important projects, dreams go undone because you are busy building up good stuff but not allowing space to do that great (deep soul connected stuff)
  • Express what you want (in life and after) and organize important information.
I know there were many moments and probably even lessons etc. That I have not mentioned here, know that they are all part of the layers of where my life is and has gone and will go.
Sincerely,
Heather
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2 responses to “Dear 2017, Closing out the year…

  1. Therese Hedwards

    Dearest Heather, I treasure your insights in my inbox. Thank you for all you do in the world. You introduced me a word for the year a long time ago. I’ve been trying to decide between 2 words this year. Now, I realise I don’t have to stick with 1, I can have 2!;) So sorry for your loss, and all the best for 2018.

    • Thank You for your very kind words and for your support ❤ Oh yes, go for both of them if they both tug at your soul!

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