Category Archives: Friday 5

Things to stop beating yourself up about- Friday 5

5 Things to stop beating yourself up about

1)      Collecting books. Unless you are blowing your budget or pushing out your family members to house the books then I don’t see too much of a problem. If you’re like me at some point you’ll decide to stop beating yourself up about it and give yourself permission to surround yourself with stacks of goodness and potential. Just be mindful if you start feeling like those stacks are an obligation and not opportunity

2)      For not doing enough. Oh boy, this is a difficult one for me! There is often much to do, sometimes we are filling the space with things that we feel like we should be doing. No matter how much we get done. It never feels like enough. What you are doing is enough, in fact, it would be awesome for you to make notes sometimes about all the ways you are rocking it, showing up, getting it done!

3)      For not being the perfect___ (spouse, partner, employee, parent) Look, if you are showing up (as opposed to avoiding) there are bound to be some mistakes, some things you wish you had done,  that you wish you hadn’t done or said or… So forgive yourself, learn from it, move forward.

4)      Your contradictions: I don’t know about you (though I suspect many of you feel the same way) But sometimes I feel like I confuse myself. It’s not just my emotions that feel like they conflict with one another, it’s other things about me too. (Ready and Afraid at once, Introvert and outspoken advocate) Those are just a very few of some of the contradictions I feel like I possess. I think that we can embrace them instead of beating ourselves up about them) own it, use it and appreciate the ways that your contradictions support you! You don’t have to be an either or.

5)      Not having it all together, all figured out.  Because really, who does?! It may seem like some people really do have the secret (whatever that is) but we forget that what we see of others (most especially on Social Media and the like) is curated. It’s meant to show you the parts that they most want to show you (and I am not saying that this is bad, not at all. I am saying it’s not a complete picture). Some things we are figuring out as we go along day by day. Other times we have learned some lessons and hey we might have some of it figured out… for now!

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Tools to support you in your grief- Friday 5

Hey Beautiful Souls,

As many of you know my Father passed away last June and it’s been a huge loss in so many ways for my family. The truth is we all have either gone through, will, or know someone who is going through grief. It’s a journey that has SO many layers to it. Some days I do fine other days it hits me like a ton of bricks. I have used some tools to help me with the process of grief. I am not going to say get over it or move on but to help me move forward.  I wanted to share those tools with you as I have benefited from those who share their tools, experience, and thoughts on grief. I am certainly not anywhere close to an expert, just someone who has gone through/is going through this journey and knows that others speaking out has helped me. ❤

5 tools that have been supporting  me through grief:

1)    Books on grief. One, in particular, that’s unlike any other grief book I have read so far  is Permission to Mourn by Tom Zuba

2)    Allowing space to feel, this one is actually really difficult for me with not just grief emotions but others as well. But allowing myself to feel what I feel and not constantly assume I need to figure it out and fix it. Allowing space to get out a good cry if I need to.

3)    Writing/Journaling/Creating. For me this has come in in the form of a few letters, spiling out paper, visual journaling and even painting I found some great prompts in a course on grief. The journaling can come in forms of lists, rants, letters to your loved one, visual journaling (images and sometimes words that capture what you might be feeling) Don’t overthink it or judge it, just allow it to be expressed whatever way it wants to.

4)    Sites like: What’s your grief,  and this site/podcast  (and there are some really supportive grief groups on facebook)

5)    Deep breaths and moving my body. I will be honest, there have been plenty of times where I don’t feel like doing anything. Just sitting and zoning. But I know this isn’t good for my mind, body or soul so I have been known to talk myself into it, a lot! Plus seeing some of what my father or other family has gone through is a massive reminder I need to take care of my health. 

Some of the best advice, but often difficult for us to follow is: Don’t judge your grief, (what it should look like, feel like etc.) and most of all be gentle with yourself. There are places to go to if you decide that a grief counselor or group would support your path to processing your grief.

Here is to living Inspired, Creative and Empowered

Heather Shafer

Inspiring and easy things to do this weekend- Friday 5

  1. Get outside, or open the windows (and I am not just saying that because our crazy, yet lovely weather is mid 70’s right now.Even if it’s chilly… get some air!
  2. Make something: Plans, a meal, a journal spread, jewelry, connections, a doodle.
  3. Put on a song you love, blast it and boogie to it. Sit down and close your eyes and soak it in (“bonus’ points for journaling about a memory or feelings that song brings up.
  4. Gussy up (pretty up!) a tiny space in your living environment. Add a plant, move things around your house, clear off some clutter, dust. (pick one or do as many as feel like a yes!)
  5. Read, carve out a little time to sit and read a chapter or few paragraphs of a book, catch up on some yummy and inspiring blogs, savor an article or 5 in a favorite magazine.

Here is to living Inspired, Creative and Empowered

Heather

Use your phone to inspire your goals. – Friday 5

Hey Inspiring Souls

A lot of us use our phones on the daily, many (or a zillion!) times throughout. It’s easy to get sucked into the vortex of games or random social media.

1)      Use the notes app (or the like) to jot down things (what inspires you, tracking your food, Gratitude, Soul Notes, send yourself notes (pep talks, things you need to add to calendar etc.)

2)      Get a reminder app (for the iPhone Alarmed and Reminders app are great) and schedule of things you need to remember. They are also great for putting in reminders for such things as mindfulness. (like a Deep Breath, Shoulder check (as in are they up by your ears!), What do you hear, see, smell (checking into your senses) workouts, to log your food the list could go on and on!

3)      Listen to Podcasts, with so many types of podcasts out there I would imagine there is something for most everyone out there! You can learn more about something that you want to know about (business, finance etc.) , be inspired in a ton of ways or choose something funny.

4)      Pinterest can be a vortex of inspiration. You can use it to go on and just “wander” around or you can create boards and search for things that support your goals (healthy recipes, meditation techniques, DIY’s, Finances, workouts, photography tips etc..) Create boards for your word of the year ( or phrase or… ) for your short-term and long-term goals… the ideas are endless!

5)      Camera. You can take pictures of things that inspire you, people you love, tracking your progress (for your body, space, various kinds of goals could be photographed)

Here is to living Inspired, Creative and Empowered

Heather

Tiny ways to infuse inspiration into your day- Friday 5

Hey Beautiful Souls!

Infusing more intentional inspiration in our lives doesn’t have to be complicated, time-consuming or expensive. Here are 5 (tiny) ways you can infuse your day with more inspiration.

  1. Create passwords that include affirmations in them or a power word.
  2. Read a quote or a few lines in an inspiring book every day.
  3. Write down something you are grateful for, goodness you noticed, something you heard that caught your attention.
  4. Add a piece of artwork, plant, crystal, stone with an inspiring word (the list could go on an on here) into your space, somewhere you will see it on the daily.
  5. Put something in your bag that inspires you, a little pouch with crystals and word stones, a pen or journal that you love, an essential oil that uplifts you, inspires you, calms you.

Here is to living Inspired, Creative and Empowered

Heather

Ways to reflect on the year- Friday 5

Hey Beautiful Souls,

I actually hesitated on sharing any posts about reflecting on the year . I am not as anxious to reflect in the same ways I have been since the loss of my father this year.

However, I think being able to take a little bit of time or honor a ritual I have had for years (even if it isn’t the exact same as it has been in the past years) is important (even if it’s tender)

Here are 5 ways to reflect on the year…

  1. Write a letter to the year… Dear 2017… (so far mine feels like Dear 2017… what the f…..  since But I am still pondering it.
  2. Choose some photos that you feel tell the stories of the year coming to a close.
  3. Write it out… Here are some prompts:  Ways my word showed up this year, this year I felt, this year my most difficult time/experience/lesson was, this year I showed up /rocked it in/with, This year I created, embraced, released.
  4. Look through your planner/calendar and pull out what you felt stood out from the big moments to the little things and write those down.
  5. Sum up the year in 6 words (or some other limited number)

Here is to living Inspired, Creative and Empowered

Heather

5 Inspiring Videos – Friday 5

Hey Beautiful Souls!

I watch something on YouTube at least 3 days a week there is so much inspiration to be had there (and it can be a vortex time sucker, so beware!) Here are some videos I have found inspiring lately.

  1. I just love this song (all musical) and the video is pretty cool too! There just something about it I felt inspired by!
  2. This video was really inspiring and thought-provoking 
  3. How to stop screwing yourself over
  4. On grief and the passage of time 
  5. I really want to try this paint pour canvas!